I’m dreading today, day what ever it is and I’m starting again, I’m dreading the headaches and tiredness that might happen. But I am armed with paracetamol and nuts. Lol. 
10:00 – my stomach officially hates me and I still haven’t managed to eat breakfast. 
11:00 – managed to eat breakfast despite nausea
3:00 – good stint at work, achieved a lot, feeling good and went to get my lunch (which I’m looking forward to – Thai peanut chicken salad) from under the table only to realise I left the chicken at home. Im starving and only have what basically amounts to some carrots and salad for lunch so I go down stairs to buy some chicken. 
Next thing you know I have all the food…. how I went from I can get some chicken from downstairs to eating all the food is quite frankly anyone’s guess, but I’ll give it a go. I think it had something to do with being tired and stressed and having not exercised in a while. So my background stuff was not good. Then the chicken looked crap and expensive and possibly full of rubbish. Do I think I convinced myself that I might as well eat badly if I’m going to eat badly? I don’t know that’s all I’ve got. I then go into zombie mode to eat and then I fought tiredness all afternoon and almost sewed through my finger – stupid Jennie. Well I know I’m not really stupid, but it is fairly self destructive let’s face it. 
19:30 – weigh in, put on 4.5lbs. Basically back to the start again. Super pissed off at myself. Mum bless her had cooked me dinner and dealt very well with me being stroppy.
Try again tomorrow, hope it goes better. Still haven’t figured out when/how to put meditation in my day. I’m also thinking I need to write this blog downstairs so that I’m not staring at technology just before bed.
Diary of a fat seamstress 